How Massages Help Me Say Bye Bye to Toxins (Heather, July 13, 2005)

Warning:  This buzz may contain information that could be disturbing to those who are easily grossed out.

I have to admit, the first time I ever had a massage I thought that the only benefits were to relieve my sore muscles and to help me feel more relaxed.  But as I became more experienced over the years, I realized there are potentially several other benefits or effects of massage therapy…greater flexibility and range of motion…promotion of deeper and easier breathing…relief of stress and improved mental health…increased circulation to allow the body to pump more oxygen and nutrients…stimulation of the lymph system, the body’s defense against toxins…improved elimination of waste throughout the body.

Let’s talk a little more about this last “benefit”, because I’ve had some interesting experiences with the “waste” in my body.  Usually Jen and I rave on and on in our buzz articles about how great spas and treatments are.  But the remainder of this article will take a different turn.  My intentions are to make you aware of some things that have happened to me post-massage.  I’m not saying that they’re going to happen to you or try to turn you off to massages, but I want to give you the scoop that you won’t find anywhere else on the internet.

The first thing I want to tell you is that it may be common to have to use the bathroom immediately or shortly after a massage.  And I don’t only mean to go pee.  As I said before, massage improves the elimination of waste from the body.  This is why massage therapists tell you to drink lots of water following a massage.  If you don’t drink the water, then the toxins won’t be easily flushed out of your system.  Not so bad, though, right?  So if you don’t like “to go” in public places, you may want to keep this in mind.

The next experience I had was a bit more unusual.  It was earlier this year when I had my Lomi Lomi Massage at The Ritz Carlton.  This therapy involved a thorough massage of the stomach.  It actually felt like my therapist was going underneath my rib cage to maneuver around.  It wasn’t painful, just unusual.  But about a few hours afterward, I started feeling cramps.  Before I knew it, it was that “time of the month”, at the wrong time!  I wasn’t expecting it until three or four days later.  And the weird part was that it wasn’t fresh, it was more like I was cleaning old “waste” out of my body.  I reported this to the spa director, but she had never heard of this “effect”.  Effect or coincidence?  I guess I’ll never know, but Lomi is reported to unravel old systems in the body.

My most recent “waste management” experience was during my vacation at The Venetian in Las Vegas last week, and I’m not talking about anything mafia related.  I decided to indulge in an 80 minute deep muscle soother.  Towards the end of my massage, my therapist told me that he was not going to work on my neck because my lymph glands were swollen.  He said it could mean that I was getting sick or just had some extra stress I was carrying.  If he massaged the glands, it could spread the sickness throughout my entire body. 

Well, he was right.  Within hours of my massage, I was flat out in bed…with the exception of the frequent visits to the porcelain god.  I won’t go into detail, but over the next 24 hours I think EVERY toxin that every existed in my body was removed.  Not the most pleasant experience I’ve had on vacation.  Now I’m not exactly sure what effect the massage had on this whole experience.  But a close friend told me I was lucky I had the massage to speed up the sickness and get it out of my system quickly so that I didn’t have to deal with it a few days later on my red eye plane flight home.

Okay.  No more disgusting stories.  But I’ll leave you with a few last words of advice.  Make sure you actually do drink LOTS of water after your massage.  And if you’re feeling ill, you may want to pass on a massage so that the illness does not spread through the rest of your body.  Overall, the numerous benefits I’ve received from ongoing massages have more than outweighed a few unpleasant experiences.

Have you ever had a strange reaction following a massage?  Send an email to spafeedback@letsgospa.com.

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